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App Appreciated And Applauded
Popular New Exercise App Just Tells Users They Ran 5 Miles A Day No Matter What LOS ALTOS, CA— Having reached nearly 2 million downloads within its first month of release, the new smartphone app...
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Perfect Partners Parting
Study: Marriages Between Perfectly Matched Couples Should Still Only Last About 15 Years ORLANDO, FL— In a new study released Friday that challenges contemporary notions of marital satisfaction,...
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Funny Fake Phone
This Fake Phone Helps You Focus On Real Life A phone that’s not a phone had raised more than $13,000 on Kickstarter as of Tuesday afternoon, well over its $5,000 original fundraising goal. The NoPhone...
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Parents Pardon Pleases Perpetrator
VERONA, WI— Despite his best efforts to conceal the damage, area teen, Kyle Towser, confirmed Wednesday that his parents could clearly tell he had a huge house fire while they were away for the...
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Your HORROR – Scope for the week of: December 28th, 2014
Welcome back my fine weathered friends. This is the last HORROR-Scope for 2014. We studiously studied the Celestial Sphere (even more than usual) to give you the best advice possible to make your...
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Woman Walks Wire
Here is a photo of Faith Dickey of Austin, Texas (USA), walking the wire during the Women’s Highline Meeting in the Czech Republic. As you can see, she’s wearing high-heeled shoes. And, she’s walking...
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Fine Floor Fantasy Finally Fulfilled
EDINA, MN— Moved by a grand and profound force to expand her maple-finish domain beyond its limited borders in the kitchen, area woman Linda Ellison finally achieved her own manifest destiny of...
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Your HORROR – Scope for the week of: Feb. 15th, 2015
We are back with another round of unfortunate fortunes for you seekers of the weird and wild. I trust you had (or are having, depending on your time zone), a happy Valentine’s Day. If not, this...
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Matron Mulls Mortality
Senior Citizen Keeps Mind Active By Contemplating Death PORTLAND, ME— In an effort to remain mentally sharp well into her golden years, local senior citizen Evelyn Gordon, 86, told reporters...
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Controversial Court Case Concluded
Panicking Tom Brady Unable To Stop Smirking Since Suspension Overturned FOXBOROUGH, MA— A full week after a federal judge overturned his four-game NFL suspension, New England Patriots quarterback Tom...
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